A Blog Update?!?

I suppose it's time for my monthly update!  I'm trying to get better about maintaining the blog... I promise. 

It seems summer is upon us in Cincinnati... we've had weather in the 80's for the past couple weeks and that is unheard of in March!  Although my allergies are going crazy, I really can't complain that it's warm and beautiful.  I've fully taken advantage of the warm weather by going on numerous adventures around the city. Thanks to a friend and his enthusiasm for Cincinnati, I have visited a number of places in the area that are fairly new to me. He is a transplant and his knowledge about the city puts me, a local, to shame.

We went up to Devou Park a couple weeks ago. It's across the river in Covington. It's on a hill overlooking the city and it's beautiful at night. I have been here before for Renee's wedding, but hadn't been back since.

I also went to Alms Park for the first time, and that is really beautiful too.  My favorite part about that is the drive up to it.  It is also on top of a hill, and on the street leading up to it there are all these really colorful houses.  Standing alone they would be horribly tacky, but all lined up next to each other, they are adorable.

Houses on the drive up.

Alms Park

Last Saturday, we started out in Covington and looked at these historical murals they have along the river.  Then we walked across the Roebling Bridge, hung out in Sawyer Point and then walked back across the Purple People bridge.  I don't think I've ever spent the day just wandering around down town on foot, so it was a lot of fun!  I felt like I was on a field trip. 

Murals (I don't really like this picture... doesn't really do them justice)

 

Roebling Bridge

 Sawyer Point

Purple People Bridge

So those have been a few of my recent hometown adventures. It should be noted that I took none of those pictures... I stole them from google images. Other than soaking up the beautiful weather, I've been working like crazy.  It's been insanely busy at work, but I prefer busy over slow.  I've also been taking part in wedding festivities for Shannon and Savannah.  (Two separate weddings... do not be confused with my wording... Shannon and Savannah are not marrying one another).  Between showers and bachelorettes and other bridesmaid duties, they have kept me busy lately.  I love it!

Also, I saw the Hunger Games last night and really liked it!  Anyone who knows me knows that I typically refuse to be involved in any sort of movie/book series that gains widespread popularity, and I avoid trilogies at all costs.  However, I made an exception for this movie and I actually really liked it! 

So that's my random, semi-disorganized update.  Happy Spring!

On Love.

I admire my parents for a lot of reasons, but one of the biggest reasons I admire them is for their commitment to eachother. I don't think I've seen it play out in a more real way than I have over the last several months.

I have never been married, but I can imagine that most brides and grooms on their wedding day feel very optimistic about their futures together. They say their vows to love and honor eachother for better for worse, in sickness and in health... but their hopes, dreams and expectations likely lie in the "for better" side of the equation.

For the past six months I've watched my parents walk through the less desireable half of the "sickness and health" promise and I've been so moved by their commitment to eachother.

Its sounds like such a simple thing, but something that really touched me was watching my mom stay in the hospital with my dad each time he has been in there. No matter how many days in a row he had to stay there, she was right there next to him. It was clear that she was committed to being beside him each night for the rest of their lives, even when that meant sleepinng in a chair in the ICU for a week and half straight so that he didn't have to be there alone.

I am pretty sure thats love.

Is it too late to talk about New Year's resolutions?

I say no.  Because if I still have them on my mind in February, it means I'm actually doing them! I had three fairly simple resolutions for 2012 and I'm happy to report that they are going well.

My first resolution was to start waking up 15 minutes earlier each morning before work.  I decided I wanted to feel less rushed in the morning and have time to drink coffee and read for a bit before doing anything else.  It has really made me come to enjoy my mornings!  I'm not a morning person at all, but I find myself way more eager to get up and start the day when I know I can enjoy an un-hurried cup of coffee and spend some time reading scripture or a devotional book.

My next resolution was to spend more time being creative.  I really love doing artsy things and I think I'm fairly good at it, but have rarely made time to do it.  I decided I wanted to make at least one new thing per month.  So far I have done two projects (both from pintrest).  I made a wreath for my apartment door, and I made a photo collage of pictures from my trip to Italy two years ago.  I'm excited to finally have these photos on display!

My last resolution was to get into a workout routine.  I know, I know... very stereotypical to have a New Year's resolution to work out. The thing that has made this goal attainable for me though, is that I'm not striving to lose 10 pounds and I'm not training for a marathon, I simply want to make exercise something that fits neatly into my routine.  I have been a sporadic worker-outer because I couldn't figure out a time that was convenient for me.  And if something's not convenient, it's not likely that I'll stick with it long-term.  So, my remedy for this has been to work out 3 days a week on my lunch break.  My office has a gym which is really nice.  So, during my lunch hour I am able to walk down to the gym, run for awhile, rinse off in the shower real quick so I'm not a sweaty mess all afternoon and then get back to my work day.  I like this routine because it doesn't add any more time commitments to my already busy schedule.  I have to be at the office for that hour anyway, so it's not taking up any additional time.

So, there you have it! My 2012 resolutions.  Now that I've announced them to the Internet, I have even more motivation to stick with them ;)

I Have to Believe

So it's been about two months since I've sat down to write a blog post.  I tend to view my blog as a scrapbook of sorts, I like to post pictures of fun times with friends, write about trips and other fun adventures and occasionally share things that have been on my heart. But I don't really feel particularly compelled to share the more serious or difficult aspects of my life.  


Lately, a large part of my life has been my dad's battle with cancer.  Cancer isn't typically something that people would want to scrapbook about, which is why I haven't really mentioned it on my blog. I think it is a large part of why I've shied away from writing at all lately.... I don't feel like I can write "fluff" entries about the holidays and other fun times, when something this big has been going on through it all.  


My dad's cancer started in his throat and spread to his lymph nodes, it was diagnosed as stage 4.  In the last four months he has had surgery, radiation, and chemo.  Through it all, he has been so positive and good-spirited, which makes it a lot easier for the rest of us to keep that same attitude.  That's not to say that any of it has been easy on him.  I don't think anyone can quite understand just how invasive,difficult and painful cancer treatment is until they've seen it day in and day out.  There have definitely been times when I was fearful that maybe the treatment was just going to be too much for him... seeing how sick chemo and radiation have made him has almost been scarier than the initial fear I felt when learning he had cancer.


I don't want to go into too much detail, because he's not one to broadcast his life on the internet, and the details of his journey are not mine to tell.  But it has had a huge affect on my life lately so I feel compelled to write about it.  

When someone you love is really sick, I think it makes you question some of the basic elements of your faith.  I feel like a complete spiritual infant admitting this, but I have struggled with questioning things like the goodness of God and the power of prayer.  These are things I've believed in strongly for years and I've built my life on the foundation of these beliefs.  


I'm not saying I don't believe that God is good, or that prayer is effective, but I've for sure had my doubts and my questions.  My basic conclusion in it all is that God never promised that we would understand everything that happens in this world.  If fact, he tells us over and over in scripture that we are not to lean on our own understanding and that his ways our not our ways.  We're frequently commanded not to fear, not be be anxious and trust him even when things around us give us every indication that we have no reason to trust in Him.  


"Faith is a decision. It is not a deduction from the facts around us. We would not look at the world of today and logically conclude that God loves us. It doesn’t always look as though He does. Faith is not an instinct. It certainly is not a feeling—feelings don’t help much when you’re in the lions’ den or hanging on a wooden Cross. Faith is not inferred from the happy way things always work. It is an act of the will, a choice based on the unbreakable Word of a God who cannot lie, and who showed us what love and obedience and sacrifice mean, in the person of Jesus Christ."  ~Elisabeth Elliot


Elisabeth Elliot is my absolute favorite author.  After the Bible, her books have contributed more to the development of my faith than any other books I've ever read.  I think she hit the nail on the head with this quote. 


I think somewhere along the way, we have all gotten the impression that faith should be a feeling.  That you should want nothing more than to spend time basking in the presence of God and that you should always be quick to speak about his great love for you to anyone who will listen, because you can't help but contain the joy that is bursting out of you.  


I know that sounds really sarcastic... I don't intend to downplay the joy of the Lord and the times in life where faith does come easily, where you really are overwhelmed by the peace and love of God... because I think those times are fundamental to the formation of our faith.  We need the times when God's presence feels very near and very real, so that we can trust in his goodness during the times that he feels far away.  


In the last few months there have been times when I have felt guilty for viewing my faith as an act of obligation rather than an act of desire.  I have felt guilty for being fearful and doubting that my God will pull through. I've felt guilty for praying for my own will rather than praying for his will to be done. I've felt guilty for doubting that my heavenly father truly loves me and has my best interest in mind, when I have never once doubted the love of my earthly father.  


Spending time in prayer and in the word have felt difficult and forced, and I initially thought there was something wrong with me or that my faith was lacking in some way.  But as time has gone on, I am starting to learn that it is okay if obedience, rather than desire is fueling my faith right now.  


God wouldn't have told us not to be anxious, not to fear, not to give up hope, and not to lean on our own understanding, if he didn't know that there would be times when we were prone to feel anxiety, fear and hopelessness.  He gets it.  In the goodness of his character, his love and patience extend to us during the times of doubt.  If we cling to his word and his promises even when when our faith is weak, I have to believe that he will honor our obedience and see us through the difficult times. 


"...Lord, I believe; help my unbelief." Mark 9:24

Craving Adventure

So lately I have really been wanting to travel!  It's been almost a year since I've gone on a trip outside the country, and I really want to get back to working on my life goal of seeing the world.  I only have a few pesky little details that prevent me from doing this... you know... work, finances... things along those lines.

Here is a collection of photos from some of my past adventures.  I've been feeling nostalgic lately for these places and the people I traveled with.

 

 

I apologize if that was an excessive amount of photos.  Since my life doesn't exactly lend itself to travel at this particular time, I am forced to live vicariously through my past. 

 

Defining Happiness

A month or so ago, I read an article that attempted to define happiness.  The author of the article basically concluded that the key to happiness was to identify the negative aspects of your life and do everything within your power to remove them.

I thought that was an incomplete assessment of what it means to be happy.  While there are definitely times when  negative things can and should be removed from your life... a lot of times, negative things just happen and you can't simply get rid them.  It would be nice if it were just that easy... but it isn't, and I would venture to guess that if I had been able to remove every unpleasant experience from my life, I wouldn't be the person I am today.  Stress, pain, disappointment, anger, etc... when approached with the right attitude, can all provide opportunity for growth.

So, ever since I read that article, I have been thinking about my own recipe for happiness.  Here is what I've come up with so far:

Be quick to forgive: It takes so much more effort to hold on to a grudge than to simply just forgive someone.

Sleep well at night: "As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:18. When it comes to relationships with friends, family, significant others anyone else you encounter on a daily basis... approach these relationships with humility, apologize when it's your fault,  and encourage them frequently.  Don't leave any unresolved tension.

Focus on others: Constant obsession with your own happiness breeds discontentment.  It sounds paradoxical, but there is no better feeling than doing something for/blessing someone else.

Grow from negative things: Like I said before, removing all negative things from your life is both unrealistic and inhibits character development.  You will only drive yourself crazy if you try to avoid discomfort of any kind... it's impossible. Instead, let the negative things serve as a tool to magnify the positive.

Count your blessings: Seriously, make a list.  Whenever I do this I actually get sort of giddy and end up feeling like the luckiest girl on the planet.  There is so much to be grateful for!  My wise friend Kristen once sent this quote to our small group: "What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you thanked God for today?" I have no idea who said this... but this quote really made me want to make a conscious effort to recognize and thank God for everything I've been blessed with.

Be okay with who you are and how you conduct your life: It's kind of self explanatory, but make choices that you feel good about... even if it's difficult. Keep your integrity, even in the little things.  Sometimes it's easy to cut corners to make things more convenient for yourself, but in the long run you will sleep better at night with the knowledge that you have preserved the quality of your character.

Keep your faith at the forefront of your mind: So little of what we spend our time doing, focusing on and worrying about is going to matter in eternity.  God and people are the only things that are going to matter once we leave this world.

Hold things loosely: Cling to your faith, but keep a loose grip on all other things.  Anything that you find your identity in other than Christ (physical beauty, career, financial status, even relationships) can and will change. If you have a grasp on what is important in life, your identity won't be rocked when things around you change.

So, that's what I've come up with so far as a way of finding happiness.  It's far more complex than the "removing negative things" plan... but this is what has worked for me in my life, so I'm sticking with it.

A Time for Everything

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I just wanted to update the blog for my (at most) two readers who follow.  My blog has been really quiet this past month.  I've had a lot going on... I think I've experienced the majority of the "times" mentioned above.  Some have been really, really good, others not so good. I am definitely in "a time to be silent" mood; on the blog and in real life. Hopefully soon I'll be back to posting more frequently.