Meet Kayla

A couple months ago, I decided to volunteer with the Big Brothers and Big Sisters program.  After applying, interviewing, filling out paperwork and doing a background check, I was matched with a little sister.  Her name is Dakaylia, but she likes to be called Kayla.  We first met about a month and a half ago.  I went to her house with my case worker from BBBS and I met her and her family.  After that we were pretty much set free to do whatever we wanted.  The thing I like about the program is that it’s very open ended.  You and your little get to decide what to do and when to do it.  So, while it is a time commitment, it doesn’t necessarily take up a specific time slot each week, like Thursday evenings from 5-7.  You get to work around your schedule.

The following week, we made a bucket list of different activities we wanted to do together.  Our list has bigger events like going to red’s games or the zoo, but it also has some simpler items like baking cookies and going to the library.  

For our first outing, I let her pick whatever she wanted off of our list.  Of all things, she was most excited to go fishing.  So… that’s what we did. We packed up our rods and tackle box (borrowed from my dad) as well as a couple Lunchables, and set off to the park for a day of fishing.  Given the fact that I’m no professional angler, this was a learning experience for both of us.  We caught a grand total of zero fish, had to touch a lot of worms, and accidentally dismantled the reel off our rod and flung it into the water.  All in all, it was not the most successful fishing trip, but we had a lot of fun.  

Kayla lives near the city, so she doesn’t spend a lot of time by lakes.  It was so cute to see her get all excited about seeing ducks and turtles and snails.  

Since our fishing trip we've taken a lacrosse class, baked cookies and had a movie day.  I've noticed that of all the things we've done together, her favorite thing to do is just hang out at my apartment.  The first thing she does when she comes over is look at each of my framed pictures.  She loves seeing the photos of my college friends, my family and pictures of my friends' weddings. She also really likes running errands with me like going to the grocery store. It's pretty cool that it doesn't take a lot for her to have a good time.  I'm excited to get to know her better and experience more things with her.

Musings from the Weekend

This past weekend was full of wonderful things.  It started off with the Bengals/Jets pre-season game.  I’ve never been to a Bengal’s game before (I come from a family of Steelers fans), but I had a great time nonetheless.  Brian’s company gave us the tickets and they have yet to disappoint when providing us with tickets to sporting events.  We sat in the front row!  It was pretty cool to be eye level with the game.  Plus I got to see Tim Tebow up close.  That was fun because he’s pretty much a celebrity and I think he was the only player from either team who I could actually identify.  I’m not very educated on the roster for the Bengals or the Jets.  I’d be happy if I could just learn the rules of the game.

On Saturday morning I went car shopping.  Yes, it is time to bid farewell to the Buick.  I have some very fond memories of that car, but it is time to move on without it.  I was ready for a big girl car, and I have been saving for this since I graduated from college.  I decided on a Honda Accord.  I knew I wanted to get a Honda or Toyota because of their great reputation, and after some test driving decided I liked the Accord.  It’s a full size sedan, but compared to my Buick, it actually feels small to me. 

Saturday night I went on a surprise date with Brian to Bella Luna.  Afterwards we got drinks and took a walk downtown by the river.  The weather was perfect all weekend, I actually wore a jacket both Friday and Saturday night and that got me pretty excited for fall to arrive. 

Sunday morning I went to church and then spent the afternoon with my friends Courtney and Jessica.  We lunched and shopped and I seriously considered adopting a puppy from the storefront of Petsmart.  Only for about 90 seconds though…. then I remembered I really don’t like dogs.  Except for Mattie of course, but she’s family.

The weekend ended with a backyard bonfire with some friends.  All in all, I had a delightful weekend.  A weekend well-spent makes Mondays a little more bearable. 

Top five songs I could live without

1.       Maroon 5- Pay Phone.  On my commute to work, I play a game with myself called “Let’s See How Long it Takes Before I Hear Payphone on the Radio.”  I typically lose this game within 5 minutes of my commute.  I’m not being sarcastic.  I really do track this daily.  I don’t think I’ve driven to or from work in the past 3 months without hearing this song at least once.  Typically when I flip through my pre-sets, I can find it multiple times.  Additionally, I don’t think this song is culturally relevant.  When was the last time you made a call via payphone, much less seen one available for use?

2.       Adele- Anything by Adele.  She has a good voice, it’s true.  But  she either needs to come out with some new songs, or they need to stop playing the old ones. Also, I think it would do her soul some good if she could find some happy topics to sing about. 

3.       Give Your Heart a Break- Demi Levato.  I’m just tired of this one.  I didn’t hate it at first, but now I’ve grown very weary of hearing it over and over and over.

4.       Whistle- Flo Rida.  If you’ve heard this song, I think it should be self-explanatory why I dislike it.

5.       Boyfriend- Justin Bieber- In the past I have been honest in admitting that I am a fan of the Bieb.  “Baby” and “One Less Lonely Girl” are old favorites of mine.  However, “Boyfriend” is waaay to auto-toned for me.  I think Justin Bieber’s voice is changing and they’re trying to cover it up.  The only problem with that is that is sounds awful.

Grammar Matters

I saw this the other day and loved it!

Contentment

Lately I’ve been trying to practice a bit more contentment at work.  I love my job, I really do.  It’s just that when you do the exact same thing over and over, day after day, sometimes it can steal your joy a little bit. 

I’ve been trying little things like adding eucalyptus plants to my cubicle to make it more inviting, and planning more lunch dates with friends who work in other departments.

It has also helped a lot to reflect back on previous companies I’ve worked for.  When I compare them to my current company, I feel EXTREMELY grateful to be here.  My company is very generous to us and provides a really positive work environment.  And overall I work with really great people.  Most of my co-workers are really normal… it sounds odd, but having worked with weird people in the past, “normal” is really refreshing.

 

I also have a hand in pretty meaningful work.  Interviewing, hiring and onboarding people is really routine for me, but when I step back to think about the impact it is having on people’s lives, I feel kind of humbled.  Giving people opportunities to advance in their career, and provide for their families is actually kind of a big deal when I think about it. When I call someone to set up an interview, for me it’s just another item on the to-do list, however, for the candidate it’s likely a call they’ve been nervously hoping to receive. 

I don’t want to spend 40 hours a week (or more like 50 when I factor in my heinous commute) wishing my life away, waiting for the weekend or for my next vacation.  I want to make a concentrated effort to focus on what I’m doing and be grateful for the opportunity to be here. 

“Let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.”

1 Corinthians 7:17

My Favorite Mascara

I have very thin, very blonde eyelashes.  For years I’ve struggled to make them look fuller and longer without looking gooey or clumped together.  About a year ago, I found my solution in this mascara.

I’m not typically a fan of CoverGirl products, but this mascara is fabulous!  I wasn’t lucky enough to inherit the fabulous eyelash gene like my brother did (kind of a waste on a guy, don’t you think?), so this mascara is the closest I can get to awesome eyelashes.  I use one coat, let it dry and then put another on.  Even among more expensive brands, I have just not found a mascara that makes my eyelashes look as good as the Lash Blast Fusion does.  

I sound like I am getting paid to write this, but unfortunately I am not.  I just get really excited each morning when I apply my mascara and thought I would share a bit of that joy with you all.

Highlights

I've composed a list of reasons why I'm so excited about life lately.  Enjoy!

1. A co-worker and I have decided to do a Bible study together once a week. She works in the cube next to me, and while we were having lunch last week, we got to talking about life and faith, and she asked me if I would like to do a Bible study with her.  I am really excited about this.  She's in her early 30's and she and her husband are about to adopt their first child.  I think it will be really cool to have spiritual community with someone who is a phase ahead of me in life. 

2. Brian took me to this little wine bar down town where we sipped wine alongside rich old people and well-dressed gay couples.  The best part of this scenario was the fact that there was a life cellist present.  We sat there talking about how classy we were the entire time.  We later concluded if you have to discuss how classy you are, you are likely not all that classy.  I'm glad he humors me and creates the illusion of preteion for me once in awhile. 

3. I traveled to Knoxville last weekend to throw a bridal shower for my best friend.  It went really well!  She is going to be the most beauitful bride in the world. 

4. I received a really sincere gesture of apprecition from someone else I work with.  She lives in Seattle and we work together virtually on a daily basis, but I've never met her in person.  She sent me a really nice card and Starbucks gift card to let me know she appreciates how hard I work.  I thought it was so sweet of her to go out of her way to do that, especially sicne we've never even met in person. 

5. I had family dinner with my best friends from high school last night.  I love that we gather frequently for home-cooked meals together.  I'm even more glad that we've kept our friendships so strong over the years. 

I saved the best for last:

6. My dad had a clear PET Scan last week!  That basically means they didn't detect any cancer in his body!   We pretty much got be best possible results.  I was afraid of getting my hopes up about it, but it was such a relief when I heard the news.  Praise God! I am so grateful for the way my friends have really rallied around me and my family since last summer!  I cannot even express how much it meant to me when friends would check in weekly, or even sometimes daily during the touch-and-go times to let me know they were praying, and to ask for updates.  It seriously meant the world to me, and to my parents.  I'm so grateful for the people in my life and for a God who heals!

I Heart Springtime

Life has been going quite swimmingly lately.  Weddings, babies, birthdays, best friends, family time, springtime, Easter.... I'm just a happy girl and all the wonderful people in my life have everything to do with it.  The consistently beautiful weather has been icing on the cake. 

A Blog Update?!?

I suppose it's time for my monthly update!  I'm trying to get better about maintaining the blog... I promise. 

It seems summer is upon us in Cincinnati... we've had weather in the 80's for the past couple weeks and that is unheard of in March!  Although my allergies are going crazy, I really can't complain that it's warm and beautiful.  I've fully taken advantage of the warm weather by going on numerous adventures around the city. Thanks to a friend and his enthusiasm for Cincinnati, I have visited a number of places in the area that are fairly new to me. He is a transplant and his knowledge about the city puts me, a local, to shame.

We went up to Devou Park a couple weeks ago. It's across the river in Covington. It's on a hill overlooking the city and it's beautiful at night. I have been here before for Renee's wedding, but hadn't been back since.

I also went to Alms Park for the first time, and that is really beautiful too.  My favorite part about that is the drive up to it.  It is also on top of a hill, and on the street leading up to it there are all these really colorful houses.  Standing alone they would be horribly tacky, but all lined up next to each other, they are adorable.

Houses on the drive up.

Alms Park

Last Saturday, we started out in Covington and looked at these historical murals they have along the river.  Then we walked across the Roebling Bridge, hung out in Sawyer Point and then walked back across the Purple People bridge.  I don't think I've ever spent the day just wandering around down town on foot, so it was a lot of fun!  I felt like I was on a field trip. 

Murals (I don't really like this picture... doesn't really do them justice)

 

Roebling Bridge

 Sawyer Point

Purple People Bridge

So those have been a few of my recent hometown adventures. It should be noted that I took none of those pictures... I stole them from google images. Other than soaking up the beautiful weather, I've been working like crazy.  It's been insanely busy at work, but I prefer busy over slow.  I've also been taking part in wedding festivities for Shannon and Savannah.  (Two separate weddings... do not be confused with my wording... Shannon and Savannah are not marrying one another).  Between showers and bachelorettes and other bridesmaid duties, they have kept me busy lately.  I love it!

Also, I saw the Hunger Games last night and really liked it!  Anyone who knows me knows that I typically refuse to be involved in any sort of movie/book series that gains widespread popularity, and I avoid trilogies at all costs.  However, I made an exception for this movie and I actually really liked it! 

So that's my random, semi-disorganized update.  Happy Spring!

On Love.

I admire my parents for a lot of reasons, but one of the biggest reasons I admire them is for their commitment to eachother. I don't think I've seen it play out in a more real way than I have over the last several months.

I have never been married, but I can imagine that most brides and grooms on their wedding day feel very optimistic about their futures together. They say their vows to love and honor eachother for better for worse, in sickness and in health... but their hopes, dreams and expectations likely lie in the "for better" side of the equation.

For the past six months I've watched my parents walk through the less desireable half of the "sickness and health" promise and I've been so moved by their commitment to eachother.

Its sounds like such a simple thing, but something that really touched me was watching my mom stay in the hospital with my dad each time he has been in there. No matter how many days in a row he had to stay there, she was right there next to him. It was clear that she was committed to being beside him each night for the rest of their lives, even when that meant sleepinng in a chair in the ICU for a week and half straight so that he didn't have to be there alone.

I am pretty sure thats love.

Is it too late to talk about New Year's resolutions?

I say no.  Because if I still have them on my mind in February, it means I'm actually doing them! I had three fairly simple resolutions for 2012 and I'm happy to report that they are going well.

My first resolution was to start waking up 15 minutes earlier each morning before work.  I decided I wanted to feel less rushed in the morning and have time to drink coffee and read for a bit before doing anything else.  It has really made me come to enjoy my mornings!  I'm not a morning person at all, but I find myself way more eager to get up and start the day when I know I can enjoy an un-hurried cup of coffee and spend some time reading scripture or a devotional book.

My next resolution was to spend more time being creative.  I really love doing artsy things and I think I'm fairly good at it, but have rarely made time to do it.  I decided I wanted to make at least one new thing per month.  So far I have done two projects (both from pintrest).  I made a wreath for my apartment door, and I made a photo collage of pictures from my trip to Italy two years ago.  I'm excited to finally have these photos on display!

My last resolution was to get into a workout routine.  I know, I know... very stereotypical to have a New Year's resolution to work out. The thing that has made this goal attainable for me though, is that I'm not striving to lose 10 pounds and I'm not training for a marathon, I simply want to make exercise something that fits neatly into my routine.  I have been a sporadic worker-outer because I couldn't figure out a time that was convenient for me.  And if something's not convenient, it's not likely that I'll stick with it long-term.  So, my remedy for this has been to work out 3 days a week on my lunch break.  My office has a gym which is really nice.  So, during my lunch hour I am able to walk down to the gym, run for awhile, rinse off in the shower real quick so I'm not a sweaty mess all afternoon and then get back to my work day.  I like this routine because it doesn't add any more time commitments to my already busy schedule.  I have to be at the office for that hour anyway, so it's not taking up any additional time.

So, there you have it! My 2012 resolutions.  Now that I've announced them to the Internet, I have even more motivation to stick with them ;)

I Have to Believe

So it's been about two months since I've sat down to write a blog post.  I tend to view my blog as a scrapbook of sorts, I like to post pictures of fun times with friends, write about trips and other fun adventures and occasionally share things that have been on my heart. But I don't really feel particularly compelled to share the more serious or difficult aspects of my life.  


Lately, a large part of my life has been my dad's battle with cancer.  Cancer isn't typically something that people would want to scrapbook about, which is why I haven't really mentioned it on my blog. I think it is a large part of why I've shied away from writing at all lately.... I don't feel like I can write "fluff" entries about the holidays and other fun times, when something this big has been going on through it all.  


My dad's cancer started in his throat and spread to his lymph nodes, it was diagnosed as stage 4.  In the last four months he has had surgery, radiation, and chemo.  Through it all, he has been so positive and good-spirited, which makes it a lot easier for the rest of us to keep that same attitude.  That's not to say that any of it has been easy on him.  I don't think anyone can quite understand just how invasive,difficult and painful cancer treatment is until they've seen it day in and day out.  There have definitely been times when I was fearful that maybe the treatment was just going to be too much for him... seeing how sick chemo and radiation have made him has almost been scarier than the initial fear I felt when learning he had cancer.


I don't want to go into too much detail, because he's not one to broadcast his life on the internet, and the details of his journey are not mine to tell.  But it has had a huge affect on my life lately so I feel compelled to write about it.  

When someone you love is really sick, I think it makes you question some of the basic elements of your faith.  I feel like a complete spiritual infant admitting this, but I have struggled with questioning things like the goodness of God and the power of prayer.  These are things I've believed in strongly for years and I've built my life on the foundation of these beliefs.  


I'm not saying I don't believe that God is good, or that prayer is effective, but I've for sure had my doubts and my questions.  My basic conclusion in it all is that God never promised that we would understand everything that happens in this world.  If fact, he tells us over and over in scripture that we are not to lean on our own understanding and that his ways our not our ways.  We're frequently commanded not to fear, not be be anxious and trust him even when things around us give us every indication that we have no reason to trust in Him.  


"Faith is a decision. It is not a deduction from the facts around us. We would not look at the world of today and logically conclude that God loves us. It doesn’t always look as though He does. Faith is not an instinct. It certainly is not a feeling—feelings don’t help much when you’re in the lions’ den or hanging on a wooden Cross. Faith is not inferred from the happy way things always work. It is an act of the will, a choice based on the unbreakable Word of a God who cannot lie, and who showed us what love and obedience and sacrifice mean, in the person of Jesus Christ."  ~Elisabeth Elliot


Elisabeth Elliot is my absolute favorite author.  After the Bible, her books have contributed more to the development of my faith than any other books I've ever read.  I think she hit the nail on the head with this quote. 


I think somewhere along the way, we have all gotten the impression that faith should be a feeling.  That you should want nothing more than to spend time basking in the presence of God and that you should always be quick to speak about his great love for you to anyone who will listen, because you can't help but contain the joy that is bursting out of you.  


I know that sounds really sarcastic... I don't intend to downplay the joy of the Lord and the times in life where faith does come easily, where you really are overwhelmed by the peace and love of God... because I think those times are fundamental to the formation of our faith.  We need the times when God's presence feels very near and very real, so that we can trust in his goodness during the times that he feels far away.  


In the last few months there have been times when I have felt guilty for viewing my faith as an act of obligation rather than an act of desire.  I have felt guilty for being fearful and doubting that my God will pull through. I've felt guilty for praying for my own will rather than praying for his will to be done. I've felt guilty for doubting that my heavenly father truly loves me and has my best interest in mind, when I have never once doubted the love of my earthly father.  


Spending time in prayer and in the word have felt difficult and forced, and I initially thought there was something wrong with me or that my faith was lacking in some way.  But as time has gone on, I am starting to learn that it is okay if obedience, rather than desire is fueling my faith right now.  


God wouldn't have told us not to be anxious, not to fear, not to give up hope, and not to lean on our own understanding, if he didn't know that there would be times when we were prone to feel anxiety, fear and hopelessness.  He gets it.  In the goodness of his character, his love and patience extend to us during the times of doubt.  If we cling to his word and his promises even when when our faith is weak, I have to believe that he will honor our obedience and see us through the difficult times. 


"...Lord, I believe; help my unbelief." Mark 9:24