The Introvert

According to the Myers Briggs test, I am an introvert.  I used to think that being introverted was synonymous with being shy, boring and self-conscious.  However, over time I’ve gained a better understanding of what being an introvert really means.  I saw this quote on Pinterest and I think it hit the nail on the head.

 

I recently listed to this TED Talk (I love TED Talks!) about the power of introverts.  It’s kind of long, but it’s entertaining.  I think my favorite part is when she shares the quote that says “We have historically favored the man of action over the man of contemplation”

 

She goes on to say that in groups, we typically agree with the ideas of the person who is the loudest or most vocal.  This is something that has consistently bothered me.  I think the introverts in the workplace and in other groups have really great ideas.  I just don’t think they’re prone to jump in and express them as loudly.  Just because an idea is the loudest, does not mean it is the best.

Don’t get me wrong.  Even as an introvert, I love being social and I love sharing my thoughts and ideas.  I just have a limited capacity for that.  For instance I can spend hours and hours on end with friends and family- we could stay in and chat, we could do out and find something fun to do, we could travel to new places and try new things.  All of these things energize me and leave me feeling really happy and full. 

However, my least favorite social situation is approaching a group of people who all know each other except for me.  I despise this!  Will I do it if I need to? Yes.  I just have to give myself a pep talk that goes a little something like this: “Ok Kristen, time to put your A game on.  This will only last for a few hours, in the grand scheme of life, a few hours is nothing; you can do ANYTHING for a few hours. Ok?  OK!”

I occasionally travel for work and when I do, it consists of several days of small talk with people I don’t know well.  This typically involves meetings all day and “optional” (but really not so optional) social events in the evening. This is an extrovert’s field day, but kind of intimidating for an introvert.  I really have to turn my A game on for those weeks. Nothing makes me feel better during these trips than calling Brian at the end of the day, so I can completely let my guard down and just engage in easy conversation. 

I prefer to spend my social energies on people I’m closest with.  I very much enjoy conversations where I can connect with people.  I could see someone every day and engage in normal day-to-day chit-chat, but still not feel very close to that person.  I have to feel like we’ve connected on a deeper level to really value someone’s place in my life.