The Introvert

According to the Myers Briggs test, I am an introvert.  I used to think that being introverted was synonymous with being shy, boring and self-conscious.  However, over time I’ve gained a better understanding of what being an introvert really means.  I saw this quote on Pinterest and I think it hit the nail on the head.

 

I recently listed to this TED Talk (I love TED Talks!) about the power of introverts.  It’s kind of long, but it’s entertaining.  I think my favorite part is when she shares the quote that says “We have historically favored the man of action over the man of contemplation”

 

She goes on to say that in groups, we typically agree with the ideas of the person who is the loudest or most vocal.  This is something that has consistently bothered me.  I think the introverts in the workplace and in other groups have really great ideas.  I just don’t think they’re prone to jump in and express them as loudly.  Just because an idea is the loudest, does not mean it is the best.

Don’t get me wrong.  Even as an introvert, I love being social and I love sharing my thoughts and ideas.  I just have a limited capacity for that.  For instance I can spend hours and hours on end with friends and family- we could stay in and chat, we could do out and find something fun to do, we could travel to new places and try new things.  All of these things energize me and leave me feeling really happy and full. 

However, my least favorite social situation is approaching a group of people who all know each other except for me.  I despise this!  Will I do it if I need to? Yes.  I just have to give myself a pep talk that goes a little something like this: “Ok Kristen, time to put your A game on.  This will only last for a few hours, in the grand scheme of life, a few hours is nothing; you can do ANYTHING for a few hours. Ok?  OK!”

I occasionally travel for work and when I do, it consists of several days of small talk with people I don’t know well.  This typically involves meetings all day and “optional” (but really not so optional) social events in the evening. This is an extrovert’s field day, but kind of intimidating for an introvert.  I really have to turn my A game on for those weeks. Nothing makes me feel better during these trips than calling Brian at the end of the day, so I can completely let my guard down and just engage in easy conversation. 

I prefer to spend my social energies on people I’m closest with.  I very much enjoy conversations where I can connect with people.  I could see someone every day and engage in normal day-to-day chit-chat, but still not feel very close to that person.  I have to feel like we’ve connected on a deeper level to really value someone’s place in my life.

22

Confession: I am a Taylor Swift fan.  In my defense, I’ve never professed to have a refined taste in music.  I’m currently a little bit obsessed with her 22 song.  When I’m alone in my car and it comes on the radio I’ve been known to crank up the volume and belt out the lyrics along with T-Swift. 

What’s funny is that I feel way too old to be singing an anthem about the life of a 22 year old.  Granted, I’m only 25 which is actually closer to 22 than it is to 30 (which makes me feel good), but I think my life looks a lot more like age 30 than it does age 22. 

When I was 22, I was in my last (and most favorite) year of college.  I was living with my best friends, having way too much fun and freaking out on the regular about what I was going to do with my life after college.  To quote Taylor, I was “happy, free, confused, and lonely in the best way.”  There was a lot of uncertainty about the future, but I was surrounded by people who shared that uncertainty, so it didn’t seem like a problem.  Instead it served as means to build even more camaraderie among my friends and me as we approached the finish line of college and the starting gate of adulthood. We enjoyed many late nights of talking, laughing and crying, got a little tipsy on weeknights, skipped as many classes as we could get away with, traveled on our last spring break trip to Florida, attended sorority formals, played intramural sports, and genuinely savored every last bit of the college experience that we could.

In contrast my life now involves a regimented schedule, an 8-5 job, sitting in traffic every afternoon, lots of bills, business trips (although I still feel like I’m playing pretend when I go on them), financial planning, church and volunteer commitments. I get excited about things like tax returns, getting good gas mileage and a great crockpot recipe.

My 22 year old self would thing I was a bore.  Which in some ways I am compared to my college life.  However, I think 25 has a lot of perks that 22 didn’t have.  I have an awesome fiancé, and I’m having a blast planning my wedding. I have a job I like and I still have great friends- many live far away… but I can afford to go visit them.  I get to share in their weddings and births of their babies.  I can look ahead at the future with a lot of certainty.  Obviously God could have plans for my life that I don’t foresee now, but as things currently stand, a lot of the unknowns that my life held at 22 have fallen into place quite nicely. 

The point of all my musings is this:  I loved being 22… and I love being 25.  I wouldn’t trade the experiences that I had then or the ones I’m having now.  It makes me feel good to look back on my life a few years ago and relive such fond memories.  I also look at my life now and am very content with the place I am.  God has been so good to me in each phase of my life so far and I’m confident that I have many wonderful phases to come. 

 

My Love Story (Part 3)

After we reunited, things went really smoothly from there.  A year from the date of our “second first date” was the day that Brian proposed. 

It would make for a cooler story if I was completely caught off guard and surprised by the proposal… but truthfully I had a hunch that he would do it that evening. 

He told me a few days before that we were going on a surprise date to celebrate our 1 year.  On the evening of our date Brian took me to several places that were special to us over the past year of our relationship.  At each place he gave me a hand-written letter that described his memories of our time there and how he felt.  It was really cool to revisit places that were part of our history as a couple.  He figured out the exact date that we had visited each place and included it in the letters.

The last place we went was a bench in Covington that was right across the river from the city.  We had been there before during the summer when it was warm, but it was FREEZING that night.  We sat on the bench in the cold and he gave me the last letter.  It said something along the lines of “I don’t remember the exact date that we came here for the first time, but I will always remember when we were here on February 15, 2013, because that is when I asked you to marry me…”

Then, he got on one knee and gave me the most beautiful ring in the world.  And of course I said yes. 

We’re getting married on September 28 of this year… which is only six months away!  The wedding planning is well underway and I’m really excited about how it’s all coming together. 

My Love Story (Part 2)

See Below for Part 1

One night the following February, I was out with some friends, including Brian’s roommate at the time, Caleb.  Caleb had tried to get Brian to come along that night, but he decided to stay home.  Caleb told me to text Brian and tell him to come hang out, because he seemed to think if I invited him, that Brian would come. 

Normally I wouldn’t fire off a random text to someone with whom I had a brief and unsuccessful dating stint… but I’d had two drinks, which is all it takes for me to lose my radar for awkwardness.  So, I told Brian to come hang out, and shortly thereafter, he showed up.  Things got a little weird after that because our friends didn’t stay too much longer after he arrived… so then it was just me and Brian… Since I was the one who had invited him out, I was now tasked with hanging out with him one on one. 

I figured I’d stay another hour or so, make some small talk and then leave once an appropriate amount of time had passed and Brian’s trip to the bar wouldn’t be considered a waste.  However, once we got to talking, we started to have a really good time.  We stayed there talking til about 2 or 3 in the morning.    

When the night ended, Brian asked if I wanted to give things another shot, and I agreed to give it a try.

So we started going on dates, and I was determined to give the relationship an honest effort this time around. Within the first month or so that we started dating again, we had a string of odd little “signs” if you will, that seemed like the universe was affirming our relationship.  The first was a photo from our first date the previous year.  Children’s Hospital was hosting their Celestial Ball again that year, and they chose a photo of us to use on their advertisement.  It was a really terrible photo of both of us, but it was kind of cool, that right when we got back together a picture of our first date from almost a year prior began circulating the internet.  I had all kinds of people call me to say they saw our picture on the ad. 

In addition to that, we had an unusual number of people stop us on the street or approach us in restaurants to tell us what cute couple we were (this no longer happens to us! lol).  We had a lady come up to us one night when we were out to dinner and tell us that we reminded her of her and her husband when they first started dating.  When we left the restaurant that night, we walked outside and saw the brightest shooting star I’ve even seen… and we were downtown- not a prime spot for stargazing.   

It was a string of things that sound kind of silly, but at the time it kind of freaked me out.  Looking back, I think it's kind of cool.

My Love Story (Part 1)

Since my blog audience consists of about three people, you all already know that I got engaged a couple weeks ago! 

I wanted to blog about our story, but writing it all down in one post seemed really daunting.  So, i decided to break it up into segments.  So, I present to you... Part 1:

One night, almost two years ago, a guy I barely knew asked me to a ball.

He left me an adorably awkward voicemail.  He explained that his name was Brian and we had met the previous week while out with mutual friends.  He said he got my number from our friend Jessica and was wondering if I’d like to be his date to the Children’s Hospital Celestial ball.  His company did business with Children’s and he explained that he had two tickets and that he’d like to take me with him.

I was actually really confused by his voicemail. And pretty sure he had the wrong person.  There were two Kristens in our group the night we met.  Brian and I probably exchanged less than 10 words that evening, so I was pretty sure I was not the Kristen he intended to ask out.

I called my friend Jessica to see why she gave him my number instead of the other Kristen. She said that Brian asked her for the number of the blonde Kristen (the other Kristen was brunette). We had another blonde friend there that night… although her name wasn’t Kristen, I figured that was probably who Brian intended to ask.  I was certain he wanted the number for the blonde, or for Kristen.  Not the blonde Kristen.

This left me in an awkward situation because I had to return his call and wasn’t sure what to say.  After some thought, I decided a ball sounded fun (who doesn’t want a good excuse to dress up?).  So, I called him back and accepted his invitation.  I was still halfway convinced that he’d arrive to pick me up and realize he had the wrong girl, but I knew if he was a gentleman he wouldn’t admit that, so I thought I would have a fun night at the ball regardless.

Turns out he had the right girl, and we had a really fun night at the ball. And a few decent dates after that… but then it kind of fizzled out.  If you asked him today what he thought of the early days he would say I gave him “the big middle finger”… figuratively, of course.  But really I just thought he was taking forever to make a move and I was playing hard to get. 

So, after those 5 or so dates, we didn’t really talk for about 7 months. We awkwardly avoided each other when we crossed paths at church or with mutual friends…

Home Remedies

So I’ve developed a few hippie-like habits lately that I thought I’d share with you.  This all began when I started searching for a natural cure for allergies.  I have had horrible allergies for years and nothing over the counter seems to work.  Allergy shots seem to help, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life getting weekly shots.  This prompted me to look for something more natural to help.  I did some googling and found a ton of articles about the effects of apple cider vinegar on allergies.  A lot of people claimed that this exponentially decreased their symptoms and I was intrigued! 

So, I went out and got some and began ingesting it.  In order for it to be effective you have to buy the raw-unfiltered kind from a health food store.  It tastes disgusting so I put 1 tablespoon of the ACV in apple juice and add a little raw honey (I read this has lots of health benefits too) to make it more palatable.  I started to drink this concoction twice a day and I could definitely tell that it lessened my allergy symptoms. ACV has strong anti-inflammatory properties so it relieves my congestion almost immediately after I drink it.  My allergies are much worse in spring than they are in winter, so I’m eager to see how this helps in the spring months ahead. 

In addition to helping with allergies ACV is said to help lower cholesterol.  I have had hereditary high cholesterol since I was a baby, so I’m eager to see if my numbers have gone down next time I’m tested. 

There are numerous other benefits that ACV can offer, and you can read more about them here.

Another thing I’ve been using lately is coconut oil.  I’ve been using this as a moisturizer on my face at night.  It is said to be an excellent anti-aging treatment.  I’m all about preventing aging while I’m young, so I get really excited when I read about the benefits of coconut oil.

Coconut oil is also said to be a very healthy oil to ingest.  It is full of the good kinds of fat, and it is an excellent substitute for vegetable oils when cooking.

 

I’ve become an avid Pinterester as of late, and I’ve seen several people pin things about Detox baths.  I love baths this time of year (mostly because it is so cold that the only place I feel truly warm is in a hot bath).  I have no idea if these are actually good for you or if it’s just an old wive’s tale, but I have fun doing it anyway.  I add 2 cups Epsom salt, 1 cup baking soda and a few tablespoons of ginger to my bath water.  I stir it all together like a potion and then I hop in for about 30 minutes.  The ginger makes you sweat a ton, which I like to think is removing toxins… I’m not sure if it truly is or not… this is one I need to research further.  The downside to this is that I feel like it makes me smell like sushi, because I associate the smell of ginger with sushi. 

My most unsuccessful attempt at a homemade concoction was baking soda shampoo/vinegar conditioner.  We all know shampoo has harsh chemicals and it’s bad for your hair.  Since I’m a bit vain about my hair, I thought I’d try this natural cleansing in hopes to keep it happy and healthy.  I did a ton of research on this and people that have tried it said that it takes several weeks to stabilize and that your hair will be really oily and gross when you first start, but it eventually becomes awesome.  I tried this last fall just prior to what was probably the most important week of my professional life so far… not the best timing in hindsight.  My hair wasn’t really excessively oily and gross, but it was super staticy and tangled ALL OF THE TIME. I was a trooper and stuck with it for about 3-4 weeks to see if it would get better, but it just kept getting worse.  I felt I was ripping half my hair out every time I brushed and I concluded that that was probably worse for my hair than shampooing it. I’ve just accepted that I’m one of those people who damages my hair by washing it with shampoo and highlighting it with harsh chemicals…. You can’t win ‘em all.

I’m not one to take myself too seriously with my home remedies, but I really have enjoyed finding a few little things that seem to be making a difference, and to have ruled out one or two that don’t.

The Humble Brag

The Facebook Humble Brag

This article does a good job of expressing my sentiments towards facebook lately.  I'm not anti-facebook, but I think this provides some really good prespective.